“Nothing is more important than empathy
for another human being’s suffering.
Not a career.
Not wealth.
Not intelligence.
Certainly not status.
We have to feel for one another
if we’re going to survive with dignity.”
– Audrey Hepburn –
I had no idea, but Audrey Hepburn often spoke about compassion, kindness and empathy for others. The above words strikes me as a perfect reflection of her values.
It stopped me in my tracks when I read it over Christmas.
Christmas doesn’t come without its challenges for me. Like many extended families, differences and tensions can surface, lingering year after year, largely unspoken. I try not to get involved so as not to add to the problem.
But this year, these differences ruined my Christmas. It annoyed me and made me all too aware that, on one issue very close to my heart, I’m alone in my thoughts.
Unaddressed cracks in families can deepen into chasms, but addressing them isn’t easy. In fact, it can sometimes make things worse. I’m certainly not clear on how best to voice my frustrations without risking a deeper divide. So, for now, I choose silence, leaning on Kathryn for support and advice while I gather more clarity.
Ultimately though, when reflecting on what to do, Audrey’s words provide an answer – to help someone whose suffering, while maintaining your own dignity, you must show empathy.
______
This was meant to be a short post but after a dear friend shared that, while she could relate, she hasn’t always protected herself when showing empathy to others, I felt compelled to reflect on that as well. Here’s my take…
It’s lonely on the high road. It’s not about seeing yourself as morally superior. It’s just that when you’re upset, it’s easier to react emotionally.
Holding it in, as I tend to do, is like carrying a heavy weight. My symptom is often waking up at around 3 or 4 am, overthinking everything, and being unable to get back to sleep. By 5 or 6 am, I’m up, stuck in a perpetual cycle of exhaustion.
How do I cope?
I cope by walking the coastal path, writing for What is beautiful, burying myself in work, taking power naps (almost 50 here!), and talking to Kathryn or close friends.
These are my coping mechanisms but here’s the truth: they only offer temporary fixes because I ultimately need to confront the issue that’s bothering me.
Deep down I know that the answer lies in providing clear communication. If silence is a burden, clarity can offer relief.
On how best to communicate: I believe it’s crucial to stick to the facts. On emotional issues, you can’t expect to change hearts or minds, but you can present the facts and you can take actions that align with your values.
So, for me, and when the time is right, I will communicate the facts clearly, with empathy and compassion, as Audrey’s words inspire me to do.